We have been dying to share our wonderful news here on the blog so friends and family could hear all the amazing details. Things have been busy around here and it has been hard to update everyone! Our experience with finding our miracle Amanda and our sweet baby girl has reminded us again that Heavenly Father is completely aware of us and involved in even our life's littlest details. It is amazing to know that He has a specific plan for all of us here on this earth. We are eternally grateful for His plan, we could NEVER imagined it would be this perfect!
So, here it goes.....
Friday May 30, 2014, our caseworker came for a visit from Phoenix. She had never been in our home and we hadn't had a ton of time to get to know each other. We were very excited for this meeting, it had been scheduled for about a month and we were just anxious for some little progression in finding our miracle.
So Friday rolled around and we were ready for our visit. We had a very busy weekend planned. Saturday night was Damon's big 40th birthday and we were leaving Sunday morning at 5am for our Spain and Portugal trip but we were so excited for our meeting! Our caseworker showed up and we talked for a bit and then we went over our profile. After that she asked us to make a paper profile, which is basically picture collages of your life. With the paper profile you want show possible birth mothers who you are. She encouraged us to get it done before leaving on our trip but told us not to stress about it. If you know me you know exactly what I did. I stressed about it. I wanted to get it done before leaving. We wrapped up our visit and sat and talked about what we wanted to do. We both decided we would work on it and try to get it done but that we would start it in the morning. Saturday morning I woke up ready to get to work. I started looking through all our pictures and trying to pick ones that accurately showed us and our personality. This was so hard. I also searched and searched tons of digital scrapbooks pages to use for our paper profile. This was hard too! I wanted everything to be perfect. We worked on making this profile for six hours and I cried for about 5 of those hours. I wanted it to be perfect and it wasn't getting there. My sweet, amazing, and faithful husband had me step away from working on it and reminded me that it didn't need to be perfect. Rob reminded me that Heavenly Father was in control. Our child would come to us when the time was right, even if I didn't pick the perfect pictures. I finally stopped crying and we finished our profile. With a sense of relief and accomplishment we emailed our caseworker the profile. It was now almost one o'clock and we started packing for our trip. I had to run to a friend's house to pick up some stuff for vacation and when I got there she could tell that I had been crying, A LOT! She asked if I was ok and i just started crying. I told her the story and how it was just so stressful. Then I remember telling her specifically that "One day it will all be worth it. When that little baby is ours, I will look back at this day and remember how hard it was but I will know it was all worth it". I had no idea that day would be so soon!
When I got home we continued to pack. I then got a text from a birth mother who wanted to chat with us and asked if we were free. What?! Yes! We were so nervous and excited! The birth mom said she would call us at 5:00 pm. We were excited but not too sure if she would actually call. Right then my phone rang, it was our caseworker. She said there was a birth mother in Phoenix who wanted to meet us. Our caseworker asked us to come to Phoenix (three hours away) right then. Ideally she would have given us more time but she knew we were leaving the country for a few weeks. I immediately said yes. Rob immediately said no. How could we go to Phoenix? It was 4:00 pm Saturday and we were leaving at 5:00 am Sunday. We weren't even packed yet. Rob, the sweet, amazing, and faithful husband of mine began praying and reading his scriptures. I began to do my make-up. Rob was soon on the same page with me and didn't want to let this opportunity pass. We dropped of our Bear boy with the Thompson's and hit the road. Fifteen minutes later we got a phone call from the birth mother that text us. We talked the whole way to Phoenix. It was wonderful. We had such a great conversation. The birth mother had lots of questions and we were able to ask her some as well. We loved this woman. She had so much love her baby. When we got off the phone with her we took a second to process what was happening. We knew we still wanted to go meet with the birth mom in Phoenix and so we finished the drive. We met with our caseworker and the birth mother (Amanda) at Paradise Bakery. We instantly feel in love with Amanda. It was so great talking to her and hearing her story. What a brave, strong, beautiful young woman she was. She told us that she received a blessing (to learn what a blessing is click here) before coming to meet us and that made me love her even more. I loved that she was looking to and relying on Heavenly Father. It was so clear that she loved The Lord and loved her baby. Amanda shared some wonderful moments with us and each of us felt The Spirit throughout our visit. We laughed, we cried, we talked, we were serious, we joked, we had a great visit. It was so neat to see how similar we were to Amanda. Our email address is basically the same, we enjoy the same shows, we both love and played soccer, Rob and Amanda have some similarities in their jobs, lots and lots of fun connections. After we finished up our conversations we said goodbye. We of course took pictures before leaving too!
As we started driving home our caseworker called us right away. She said that this is so rare, one in a trillion, but that the birth mom we talked to on the phone really liked us and wanted to put a "hard hold" on us, meaning she wanted to choose us to raise her child! How amazing! We were honored, flattered, excited, and confused all at once. We loved her and had such a great experience talking to her but after meeting Amanda we felt like it went really well and it just felt right. We hung up with our caseworker and my phone immediately rang. It was sweet Amanda! She told us that she had a great time and that The Spirit had testified to her that we were the parents of her baby! (There is such a neat spiritual experience here that Amanda had but again, I will let her share that if she wants. I will say that the experience she had brings me to tears every time I hear it). Amanda told us she knew we were leaving in the morning but asked us to pray about it and let her know if we too felt the same way. Again, we were so honored, flattered, excited, and confused all at once. What a roller coaster! We both knew we felt very connected to Amanda but we also know that our will is not always the same as Heavenly Father's. As we drove home we talked about everything and cried A LOT! This was a life changing decision. We knew the only way to figure it out was to go to The Lord.
We got home around midnight and still needed to pack. As we packed we continued to talk about how we were feeling. When we finished packing we went to The Lord in prayer and let Him know we felt like Amanda was carrying our child and that she was meant to be part of our life. We asked Him to let us know if that was His plan too. We were exhausted. All the nerves, excitement, anticipation, and spiritual experiences were catching up to us! We went to bed and woke up a few hours later still feeling wonderful with our decision. As we left for the airport Amanda was still constantly in our minds. On our flight to Phoenix we read our scriptures some more and felt confirmation from The Lord and a wonderful sense of peace that this was right. We cried a lot that flight. Was this really happening? Could it be so wonderful? As we got to Phoenix we found the quietest corner possible to call Amanda. I will never forget that wonderful moment. We cried together and all I wanted was to give her a big giant hug. After talking to her we called our caseworker and then we knew we needed to call the other birth mom we talked to on the phone the previous day. I couldn't do it. Rob called her and I will never forget that. It was so hard and we all cried. It was now time to board the plane to Barcelona and even though Rob just got off the phone with the other birth mom I knew I needed to call her too. I wanted to make sure she knew we loved her. I also wanted her to know our decision was very prayerful and we knew it was what God wanted. He has a plan for her, her baby, and the parents of her child.
We boarded the plane and sent Amanda a few more texts. We could not stop thinking about Amanda and that sweet baby GIRL growing inside her! Since that night when we met her we haven't stopped thinking about her. She is constantly on our minds and in our prayers. This will never change. We are forever bonded and forever family. Not a day has gone by without talking to Amanda, she is our best friend.
When I got home we continued to pack. I then got a text from a birth mother who wanted to chat with us and asked if we were free. What?! Yes! We were so nervous and excited! The birth mom said she would call us at 5:00 pm. We were excited but not too sure if she would actually call. Right then my phone rang, it was our caseworker. She said there was a birth mother in Phoenix who wanted to meet us. Our caseworker asked us to come to Phoenix (three hours away) right then. Ideally she would have given us more time but she knew we were leaving the country for a few weeks. I immediately said yes. Rob immediately said no. How could we go to Phoenix? It was 4:00 pm Saturday and we were leaving at 5:00 am Sunday. We weren't even packed yet. Rob, the sweet, amazing, and faithful husband of mine began praying and reading his scriptures. I began to do my make-up. Rob was soon on the same page with me and didn't want to let this opportunity pass. We dropped of our Bear boy with the Thompson's and hit the road. Fifteen minutes later we got a phone call from the birth mother that text us. We talked the whole way to Phoenix. It was wonderful. We had such a great conversation. The birth mother had lots of questions and we were able to ask her some as well. We loved this woman. She had so much love her baby. When we got off the phone with her we took a second to process what was happening. We knew we still wanted to go meet with the birth mom in Phoenix and so we finished the drive. We met with our caseworker and the birth mother (Amanda) at Paradise Bakery. We instantly feel in love with Amanda. It was so great talking to her and hearing her story. What a brave, strong, beautiful young woman she was. She told us that she received a blessing (to learn what a blessing is click here) before coming to meet us and that made me love her even more. I loved that she was looking to and relying on Heavenly Father. It was so clear that she loved The Lord and loved her baby. Amanda shared some wonderful moments with us and each of us felt The Spirit throughout our visit. We laughed, we cried, we talked, we were serious, we joked, we had a great visit. It was so neat to see how similar we were to Amanda. Our email address is basically the same, we enjoy the same shows, we both love and played soccer, Rob and Amanda have some similarities in their jobs, lots and lots of fun connections. After we finished up our conversations we said goodbye. We of course took pictures before leaving too!
As we started driving home our caseworker called us right away. She said that this is so rare, one in a trillion, but that the birth mom we talked to on the phone really liked us and wanted to put a "hard hold" on us, meaning she wanted to choose us to raise her child! How amazing! We were honored, flattered, excited, and confused all at once. We loved her and had such a great experience talking to her but after meeting Amanda we felt like it went really well and it just felt right. We hung up with our caseworker and my phone immediately rang. It was sweet Amanda! She told us that she had a great time and that The Spirit had testified to her that we were the parents of her baby! (There is such a neat spiritual experience here that Amanda had but again, I will let her share that if she wants. I will say that the experience she had brings me to tears every time I hear it). Amanda told us she knew we were leaving in the morning but asked us to pray about it and let her know if we too felt the same way. Again, we were so honored, flattered, excited, and confused all at once. What a roller coaster! We both knew we felt very connected to Amanda but we also know that our will is not always the same as Heavenly Father's. As we drove home we talked about everything and cried A LOT! This was a life changing decision. We knew the only way to figure it out was to go to The Lord.
We got home around midnight and still needed to pack. As we packed we continued to talk about how we were feeling. When we finished packing we went to The Lord in prayer and let Him know we felt like Amanda was carrying our child and that she was meant to be part of our life. We asked Him to let us know if that was His plan too. We were exhausted. All the nerves, excitement, anticipation, and spiritual experiences were catching up to us! We went to bed and woke up a few hours later still feeling wonderful with our decision. As we left for the airport Amanda was still constantly in our minds. On our flight to Phoenix we read our scriptures some more and felt confirmation from The Lord and a wonderful sense of peace that this was right. We cried a lot that flight. Was this really happening? Could it be so wonderful? As we got to Phoenix we found the quietest corner possible to call Amanda. I will never forget that wonderful moment. We cried together and all I wanted was to give her a big giant hug. After talking to her we called our caseworker and then we knew we needed to call the other birth mom we talked to on the phone the previous day. I couldn't do it. Rob called her and I will never forget that. It was so hard and we all cried. It was now time to board the plane to Barcelona and even though Rob just got off the phone with the other birth mom I knew I needed to call her too. I wanted to make sure she knew we loved her. I also wanted her to know our decision was very prayerful and we knew it was what God wanted. He has a plan for her, her baby, and the parents of her child.
We boarded the plane and sent Amanda a few more texts. We could not stop thinking about Amanda and that sweet baby GIRL growing inside her! Since that night when we met her we haven't stopped thinking about her. She is constantly on our minds and in our prayers. This will never change. We are forever bonded and forever family. Not a day has gone by without talking to Amanda, she is our best friend.
Amanda, Rob, and I have each had some sacred spiritual experiences through this process. Since they are very special and sacred to us I will only be sharing my feelings on the blog. I will let them share theirs if they would like. I want to share with you something I have seen play over in my mind. We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are Mormon. Something we love and hold sacred to us is the temple. We believe that the temple is a place where we can go to pray, ponder, and feel at peace. It is where sacred ordinances take place that bind our families together not only on earth but for eternity. It is where we go to not only be married but to be sealed to our spouse for eternity. We believe that when we are sealed to our spouse, if we keep the commandments and live righteously, we can be with our spouse and family in this life and the life to come. You can learn more about the temple sealing here. Since the very first time I met Amanda I felt a connection with her. I knew that we would forever be in each other's lives. I repeatedly envisioned the day Amanda goes to the temple with a worthy and righteous man who loves and adores her. I saw us there sharing in that moment with her and celebrating that joyous occasion together. That thought has never left my mind. I get so excited just thinking about it!
We always knew we would love our child's birth mother but we never knew it would be the kind of love we have for Amanda. We always knew we wanted and would have an open adoption but we never knew it would be to the extent it is. We are family. This relationship is divinely inspired. We know it is hard for people to understand. Open adoption is new to so many. Open adoption is new to us. Open adoption is new to Amanda. Open adoption is AMAZING. It is love. It is a blessing. It has forever changed us. Words can never describe what we feel in our hearts for this girl. Never. We love her.
Another thought I wanted to share was something I have been feeling. I have thought a lot about the plan Heavenly Father has for all of us. Do I wish we could have gotten pregnant sooner? Yes. Do I wish we could have gotten pregnant on our own? No. Do I wish we could have had a successful pregnancy with IVF? No. Sounds crazy, right?! It's true though. Heavenly Father wanted this sweet spirit to come to us. He wanted this to be our daughter. Heavenly Father wanted us to have this bond and relationship with Amanda. Our baby girl needs us and Amanda in her life. I wouldn't change any of this. I am amazed at what wonderful plans Heavenly Father has for each of his children. It is always fun to see that His plan always winds up better than what we could ever have imagined.
I forgot to mention some little details that remind me that The Lord is involved in all the details of our life. This meeting with Amanda could never have happened if we left on Saturday for our trip. Our original plan was to leave for Spain and Portugal on Saturday but I changed it last minute to be able to go to Damon's party. It was a little detail that needed to happen because Heavenly Father knew what was in store!
I forgot to mention some little details that remind me that The Lord is involved in all the details of our life. This meeting with Amanda could never have happened if we left on Saturday for our trip. Our original plan was to leave for Spain and Portugal on Saturday but I changed it last minute to be able to go to Damon's party. It was a little detail that needed to happen because Heavenly Father knew what was in store!
We are so grateful for all of the love and support we have received from so many. We appreciate all of the prayers, fasts, and thoughts on our behalf. We know it has all helped. Please continue to pray for us and for Amanda specifically. As amazing as this experience has been we know it will still be difficult. It breaks our hearts that it will be difficult for Amanda and that she has to have hard days. We hate it. So please pray for her. We love you all and are so grateful!
Sorry for the blurry iphone picture but this is our first picture together! Ahhhh! I love this!
This was as we were getting ready to fly to Barcelona. Happy tears were being shed the whole way there! We were going to be parents!
The weekend after we came back from vacation Amanda came to our house for a visit! It was the best!
Bear and Amanda's first meeting! He loves her!
Oh man. I die for these people. Pup included. The loves of my life
The best of friends in the heavens and the best of friends for eternity
Crazy pictures are a must!
Another example of how AMAZING Amanda is, the day we left for Europe she sent me a text. She said I needed to change my instagram profile from"hoping to adopt" to MOM, she said I was a MOM now! She is wonderful I tell you! She also sent Rob the sweetest Father's Day text as well. I will let him share that though;)
I'm amazed by Amanda daily. She is constantly thinking of our feelings and I just can't believe it! She will say things to me to comfort me and I am blown away. I try to tell her not to worry about us but I know she won't listen because she is just that great! I really hope you all get to know her through us because she is fabulous. Forever part of our family.
Sorry if I was hard to follow and sorry for my grammatical mistakes!
Our little announcement!
Our little announcement!
I was able to go visit Amanda last week! We always have so much fun together!
I'm speechless! Thank you for sharing - thank you for your testimony - thank you for your example. Love you all so much!
ReplyDeleteSo, 1. Amanda is gorgeous 2. I'm obsessed with your house 3. Can't waiiiiiit to meet your baby girl!! So, so, so happy for you and Rob.
ReplyDeleteThank you , Jaz! She is so excited to meet you!
DeleteWhat a precious gift of love! Hugs & prayers to all for continued strengthen in this new journey! Love you so, so much! ❤️
ReplyDeleteI have known Amanda since I was probably 7 or 8 and she has always been someone I looked up to. I'm so glad you guys found each other and that you love her as much as you do.
ReplyDeleteThank you Alyssa! We love her and think the world of her!
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