love, lowry: Dealing with trials

I called it in early tonight. Decided 8 PM was an acceptable time to go to bed. As many of you know, we really want to have children and for whatever reason it is not happening just yet. This has been a trial for us and most days we handle it quite well. Tonight though...not one of my better moments;) I was flat out a baby and you know what, I'm ok with that! Struggling with infertility is tricky. I have seen and truly believe that everyone that deals with it handles it differently. It is also something that you really have to experience to "understand" it. We are pretty open about it with people and don't mind talking about it. I think it helps us when we discuss it with people and also gives them a little insight to the struggles of infertility. That word can be so scary! I also enjoy writing and talking about it because I want to be able to help other couples dealing with it as well. Back to my experience tonight. While trying to work on our adoption paperwork tonight I was so overwhelmed. More so tonight than with any of our other attempts to start our family ( iui's, the good ol' fashion way, and ivf cycles). The paperwork for adoption is never ending. At some point between reading, filling out, signing, reading, filling out, signing, and on and on and on, I had to just stop and cry. Why is this so hard? Why can't we get pregnant on our own? Why did we have a miscarriage? Why did we spend so much money for one disappointment after another? Why? Why? Why? Then it came. Why is this so hard? Because it is worth it. There is a plan for us. We will have our children when the time is right. I also realized that this is work and I'm up for it! We have so much to be grateful for and we live such a wonderful life BUT it is ok to be sad sometimes and get a good cry out. Thanks for letting me express my feelings here, I feel better already! If you or someone you know is dealing with infertility please share my information with them and tell them I would love to chat! I find it is a great resource for me to talk with others dealing with that scary word, infertility!

"The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life."

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

and.....a blurry iPhone picture in Germany for fun!

6 comments:

The Mid-Cart ParentalsJune 13, 2013 at 6:59 AM
Love you both SOOOOOO much!
Adam and JessicaJune 19, 2013 at 11:51 PM
You're awesome! When it happens whatever child comes into your home will be truly blessed by having you as Rob for parents. You guys are some if the best people I know. Love you so much!
Cristi BenedictJune 23, 2013 at 2:04 PM
I finally just read this post...I love your honesty and hope for the best for you guys. However your kids come into you family, they will be blessed to have you as parents!! :)
Laurie S.June 26, 2013 at 4:08 PM
My sweet friend across the street has had the same issues. They have one adoptive child who practically lives here, as he and Will are best buddies. The sweetest kid, and I have NO DOUBT was meant for this family. They would like to adopt again, but has told me the same thing...the process and starting again is just a bear. So sorry you are going through this. I love you for it. I would even surrogate for you if my body could handle another pregnancy. Love you both so much!! You are my heroes.
UnknownAugust 12, 2013 at 12:41 PM
My dearest cousin,

I know the heartbreak that you speak of and the questions to why?? Just in the past year I have miscarried twice both in the second trimester. Why would this happen when I have 3 beautiful healthy girls? I know I'm very bless to have children already which is what everyone says but they just don't understand that it doesn't matter if you have 3 children or no children you still have emotion's. We have been to genetic counseling with no answers other then try again and pray that this time around everything will be fine. Brian is adopted and was loved so much by his parents. I think it is a wonderful thing you and Rob are doing. I know this child will have wonderful loving parents. Who knows maybe one day when the stars line up we will both be able to have our own babies. I love you and wish nothing but the best for you!